


Best Laid Plans

by Mina Lightstar (ukefied)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, original anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 21:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1565201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/pseuds/Mina%20Lightstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika is hell-bent on being only Leorio's friend. Let's not complicate it with sexy feelings or anything, okay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written/posted 2004.

Kurapika woke up in Leorio's mouth.

There were many things wrong with that sentence, but it was the only remotely coherent thought that he was able to put into words. He'd roused only when he felt the other's warm mouth over his morning erection. It was funny, because usually he didn't *get* morning erections. How his sheets and pajama bottoms had disappeared was still a mystery, but he didn't much feel like stopping everything to ask.

He moaned something, maybe a word but maybe not, tilting his hips up. He wasn't quite awake yet, his mind simply obeying his body, since the latter seemed to know what both wanted. The one conscious part of his brain, the part that could usually be counted on for logical input even when he was nearly incapacitated, informed him that something wasn't right. What *was* Leorio doing in his room, in his bed? And for that matter, since *when* did Kurapika decide that *this* was okay?

Leorio was giving a rather convincing argument, though -- one Kurapika had never heard before. He was arching further into the touch, and Leorio's mouth was so hot and moist and.... He moved his hands to tangle them in Leorio's short hair--

\--Pain!

A yelp, a jolt, a gasp... and then Kurapika woke up for real.

 

***

Kurapika spent a good couple of minutes on his side, curled up almost into a ball as he both gritted his teeth and tried to calm down. Leorio wasn't with him, the dream's hold having loosened the moment he'd reached for the object of his apparent fantasy.

Leorio had never been there to begin with, and Kurapika had ended up grabbing *himself* -- much too hard. He was only glad that he didn't share a room with Bashou or Senritsu, and hoped that any noise he'd made hadn't been audible from outside.

"Do *all* boys go through this?" he muttered into his pillow. His arousal was gone, had left quickly after the not-so-kind grope with a "thanks for nothing." With his senses cleared, he could see that his bedding was in complete and utter disarray. He couldn't remember any other dreams he'd had, but it certainly *looked* as though there'd been two people in his bed. Gingerly, almost afraid that his lower half wouldn't be operational, Kurapika turned over onto his back, and then rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

Erections, erotic dreams, burning aches that begged to be soothed with one's own hand... those things had always been for other people. For the longest time, Kurapika hadn't gotten any of them. Oh, he didn't doubt that he'd been subjected to erections at night. But they'd usually been long gone by morning, once his senses and inhibitions returned. For most other young men, these years were a time for exploration -- whether alone or with a partner. But Kurapika never did, never had any reason because any erections he *did* get were the product of some dream he never remembered, or just hormones. Kurapika never got any arousals because... he just wasn't aroused by anything.

Well, not until recently.

He shoved *that* train of thought right out of his mind, straightening his pajama bottoms as best he could from his position. He noted the time, eight-thirty staring back at him. He'd slept later than he'd thought he would, but if no one had come to wake him, nothing could have happened.

Kurapika turned onto his back, stretching so that he became an even, vertical weight on the bed, and then groped blindly for his cellular phone. He rubbed his eyes before glancing at its face, seeing how many messages, if any, had come over the course of the night.

Three text messages were waiting for him. One was from Nostrad, declaring that he could, indeed, have his three days off. Kurapika hadn't really doubted it, seeing as how his pick-up a few nights before had earned him a commendation for his trouble. The second message was from Senritsu, a simple "breakfast at ten," and the third....

He sat up abruptly, upsetting the pillows behind him. Convinced that his phone was somehow playing a trick on him, Kurapika double-checked the message, the number it had come from, and then the message again, and then the source again.

"That's not funny," he told the phone. Then he realized that he'd spoken aloud to his phone, and decided that whatever he had last night would never be eaten again.

But the message remained as it was: short, simple, and *not* helping him forget the dream he'd just woken from.

_"In town. Have secured hotel for stay. Will call during waking hours. Must do lunch."_

It might have amused him; two meal invitations and it wasn't even nine o'clock, yet. Maybe someone would snatch him up for dinner, too, Senritsu might suggest.

It wasn't funny, though. Not at all. Leorio was in town *today*? As in, he had already arrived? The medical student (was he a student, anymore?) would be contacting Kurapika sometime later today? Leorio wanted... to have lunch together? That would almost certainly mean going off somewhere with the other boy for at least a few hours.

 _And I have no excuse not to take him up on the offer,_  he realized with a wince. He was "duty-free" for the next three days. He didn't have to be anywhere or do anything for seventy-two hours. How long was Leorio going to be in town?

Kurapika gave himself a mental shake, forced himself to calm down.  _I'm being ridiculous._  It wasn't that he didn't *want* to see Leorio. He'd missed the eldest member of their little troupe, maybe even a smidgen more than he missed Gon and Killua. Kurapika *did* want to see Leorio, to catch up, to tease, to... just *be* with.

...He just wished that Leorio had had the grace to at least give him a warning.

 

***

Courtship had been something of a serious business among the Kuruta. Possible matches were being considered well before children even became old enough to write coherent sentences. Many things were taken into account: wealth, trade, family relations, and of course, the amount of affection one partner had for the other. Contrary to some other cultures, the Kuruta did not exclude their children's input from the matching. In fact, oftentimes it was one youngling's interest in another that led to the rest.

But no matter what, parents -- mothers in particular -- always had an eye out for potential suitors. When Kurapika was seven, he'd raced home from an errand in the village market and bumped into a girl he knew, sending both of them tumbling to the grass. He'd given her a flower in apology, and they *did* end up playing together a few times. Still, he'd been surprised to hear her name among those his mother had listed as potential spouses when he was ten.

 _"But I don't like girls,"_  Kurapika had protested, not because he'd had any sexual identity back then but because he was a boy and boys just didn't like girls.

 _"Of course you don't,"_  his mother had chuckled, waving his complaint aside.  _"Boys never like girls -- and if they do, they never admit it. Wait until you're fifteen, *then* you'll like girls."_

Now Kurapika was eighteen and he still didn't like girls. He wondered what his mother would have said. To be fair, he recalled that he'd been about as thrilled to hear the boys' names as he had the girls'.

 _"But Sasarai's my *friend*,"_  he'd dissented.  _"I don't want to marry my *friends*."_  Falling in love with a friend would just be... odd. He'd told his mother so, with as much candor as a child could muster.

 _"It all begins with friendship,"_  had been her reply. She never brought up her list again, but he knew that she was still keeping it. He never doubted that she was adding and subtracting names as time went on. While she never spoke of the list to him, she bombarded him with questions every now and then: what did he want to be, what kind of girl did he like, how many children would he want.

And now, years later, Kurapika had a career, a place to stay, and a horrible, horrible attraction to one of his only friends.

Sometimes, Kurapika was sure the gods were laughing at him. Only some twisted, divine sense of humor would have finally presented him with the one thing he was attracted to, only to have that thing shower its attentions on women and make its own preferences scathingly obvious. For the most part, this unrequited attraction -- he hesitated to call it "love" out of fear it would just make things harder on him -- didn't cause him any significant amount of heartache. Leorio was his closest friend and Kurapika didn't want anything to come between them. But every now and then he would realize all over again that he could never be closer, no matter what he wanted. And then he would remember Leorio's good qualities, irritating mannerisms, personality, solid body... and sometimes he had to sit down.

"You are sitting down."

Kurapika blinked. He was suddenly staring at his plate again. "What?"

"You said you had to sit down," Senritsu said when he looked up. "You *are* sitting down, and have been for half an hour. Your food is getting cold."

"Oh." Kurapika frowned at the eggs on his plate and picked up his fork. He hoped he hadn't been mumbling anything *else*. Then he cursed Leorio for having this effect on him now.

"And you haven't been listening to a thing I've said," Senritsu went on. Her voice betrayed no annoyance, only that soft observation that was all Senritsu's own.

"I haven't?" It sounded foolish, but was better than the "you were talking?" that had almost come out in its stead.

"What was the last thing I said?" she asked, in the same tone his mother always used when she had him caught and knew it.

"That I haven't been listening to you?" Kurapika offered, taking momentary refuge in wit.

"Nice try." Senritsu took a sip of her tea. "So? Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I'm bothered?" he evaded. The eggs *were* a little cold. He made a small face and pushed his plate away.

"Yes, quite. Lost in thought and making moon-eyes."

Kurapika flinched. "I don't make moon-eyes."

"So you say." Senritsu fell silent for a few moments, and they listened to the bustling in the restaurant. Snippets of conversations floated all around them, loud enough to be heard but quiet enough not to decipher.

"Nightmares?" the Music Hunter asked after a while.

He turned his head back to her so quickly that he got a few blond strands in his eyes. "No," he said, hair falling back into place on its own. "Not in a long time." And they had never been so awful that he'd remain distracted throughout the day. The worst was some time back, when he'd woken from a twisted parody of a memory that had literally made him ill.

"Trouble with friends, then?"

He suppressed a wince. He should have known that Senritsu would get it within the first couple of attempts. "No. Yes."

"Maybe?" Senritsu put in.

His phone rang before he could reply, and the sound made him freeze. Who *else* could it be? It rang a second time, then a third, and Senritsu raised her eyebrow at him before he dug it out of his mantle and answered.

"Hello?"

"Yo!" The smooth, familiar timbre of Leorio's voice made his heart skip a beat. "It's been a long time."

There was no real reason for it to have been a long time. There was little ground that Leorio's cell phone couldn't cover. The lack of communication had been due to busy schedules and, well, laziness.

"Yeah," Kurapika replied. "So... how have you been?"

"Never better." Leorio's voice was enthused. "Almost ready to start my own practice."

Kurapika smiled. He couldn't help but feel happiness and pride on Leorio's behalf. It was satisfying to see one of his friends' dreams coming true. "If anyone deserves it, it's you."

Leorio didn't answer that, but Kurapika could feel the other's grin. "So, think you can squeeze me somewhere into your busy schedule?"

Leorio, Kurapika reflected, had never really been one to dither. And Kurapika had never been one to lie. "Actually, I don't have a schedule at the moment."

"Meaning?" There was a sliver of worry behind the question, as though Leorio feared that Kurapika's life had taken a dive where his was soaring above the clouds.

"I have three days off."

"Oh. Well then," Leorio sounded delighted, "you *can* make it for lunch today."

He could, couldn't he? "Uh, yes. What time? I'm only having breakfast now," he added, partly because it was the truth and partly because it would buy him more time.

"It's nearly eleven," Leorio said, surprised.

"They taught you to tell time in that school, at least," he jeered.

"Hey, now!"

"I'm with Senritsu," he went on. "We're having breakfast not far from work. What time do you want to meet?"

"Do you know where 'Ichiban' is?"

Kurapika thought about it. "I think so. Two streets up from the square? Serves honeyed chicken and sushi?" He'd never developed a taste for that dish, though that had nothing to do with the Hunter exam.

"That's the one. Can we meet there at about three o'clock?"

Kurapika swallowed. "Um. Sure, I suppose."

"Great. I'll snag a window seat and wait for you."

"Fine." His voice sounded a little faint, even to his own ears.

"Catch you later, then."

"Bye," Kurapika uttered, and then the line went dead. So. He would be meeting Leorio in only a few hours. They hadn't seen each other in months, and now they were hours away from sharing a meal. If asked, Kurapika wouldn't have been able to describe what he was feeling at the moment. It was a mixture of many, many things -- some that made sense, and some that didn't.

He stared at his phone long after he'd hung up, until he remembered that Senritsu was sitting right in front of him. He pocketed the mobile phone again and met her eyes almost shyly, expecting either a soft jibe or an interrogation. He wasn't sure which would be worse.

But all Senritsu said was, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He pretended to consider the offer. "No, I don't think so." Senritsu always had an ear for him. It made him feel like he wasn't holding up his end of their friendship. Though to be fair, she'd never divulged any woes to him, with the exception of the time they'd shared secrets. Everyone had scars. Some carried them better than others.

"Not a mountain," she went on musingly, "but still a rather large boulder. You don't need help carrying it?"

"I'll manage." Their private analogy consisted of comparing Kurapika's burden -- vengeance and self-imposed obligation -- to a mountain. It was hard, to hold something like that up on your own.

_"It must get heavy after a while. When will you get to put it down for a bit?"_

_"Putting it down will just mean having a harder time to pick it up again."_

But it wasn't so heavy anymore, and he hadn't been carrying the full weight for quite some time. Which, incidentally, left more room on Kurapika's shoulders for Leorio and the personal conflicts *he* brought.

"I like Leorio," Senritsu mused, examining her fork. "Quite handsome, winning personality, and a wonderful friend. Good choice," she chuckled.

Kurapika didn't think his eggs were all that appetizing, but they were looking more and more like a place in which he'd like to bury his face. "Oh, god..."

"You could have done a lot worse," Senritsu pressed, smiling all the while. "You could have fallen for, say, Bashou -- who, while a very good man in his own right, is not your type."

"What is my 'type,' then?" Kurapika asked wryly, slouching in his chair.

"Handsome, kind, aspiring doctors. Evidently."

Kurapika slouched further.

"I think you should talk to him."

"Yes, that would go over well. 'Nice to see you! You won't *believe* what happened while we were apart!' And wait until I get to the part about me feeling this way since before the auction..."

"Leorio's wonderful; he wouldn't take it badly." Senritsu sounded as though she disapproved of Kurapika even thinking otherwise.

"But would he take it well?" Kurapika countered dryly.

"You'll never know unless you ask." She clicked her tongue. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

"Or lost," he pointed out, even though he knew Senritsu both meant well and had a point.

She didn't argue with him further. Her plate clinked against his as she pushed it aside and set her empty teacup on its surface. "Where is he taking you for lunch?"

"We're splitting the bill," he muttered in a tone that said "enough already." He assumed they would be, anyway. They always did.

"Whatever you say."

Sometimes Senritsu's attitude toward his friends gnawed at him. He knew it shouldn't, but couldn't help it. She wasn't close to them as he was, didn't know them as well as he did, but could still answer his denials about Leorio with raised eyebrows and tolerant responses.

"Would you please let it go?" he pleaded wearily. He paused when the waiter arrived to give them their bill, managing a thin but polite smile. "He's straight, okay? *Profoundly* heterosexual." He'd seen how Leorio acted around women more than once.

"You sound awfully sure of that." Again with that patient, tolerant tone. As though she knew something he didn't.

"I've seen evidence," he replied blandly. "Stop trying to set me up with Leorio."

"Well, *you're* not trying." She shook her head. "You aren't getting any younger."

"I'm not even twenty!"

"I only meant that your chances at Leorio are limited." Senritsu rested her chin on her hand. "You don't see each other as much, and so many things keep you both busy. Who knows, one day you'll get a wedding invitation. What then?"

As much as he hated to admit it, the thought of Leorio settling down with someone else *did* hurt. He could handle being nothing more than friends, but when, if, Leorio found the woman he wanted to be with forever, Kurapika would have to deal with knowing that Leorio would never *be* available. It hurt, and even set off a spark of jealousy that he knew he had no right to feel.

"When you love something, you're supposed to set it free." It was a lame, last-ditch effort to get Senritsu to drop the subject, and one he hated to employ. It was like halting just before openly admitting to himself what he felt. If he wouldn't admit it was love, it would hurt less in the end. But then, he'd never been very adept at deceiving himself.

Senritsu shook her head again, looking bemused. "Kurapika, sometimes you can be so adorably and insufferably dense."

"Well, thank you for that," he said wryly, and snatched up the bill before she had time to even glance at it.

 

***

He refused Bashou's offer for a ride to Ichiban on the grounds that it was not his place to take time out of the other bodyguard's day. Bashou was not off-duty, after all, and Kurapika didn't want to impose on the precious free time he had. He took a bus instead, because it would get him to the area on time, and in a more roundabout manner. He would have to walk a block or so from the bus stop, and perhaps that would help him calm his nerves.

He might not have been as nervous about seeing Leorio again if it hadn't been for Senritsu and her meddling. Their talk earlier had just reinforced the fact that Kurapika's feelings were unrequited. The more Senritsu insisted that Kurapika confess, the more Kurapika realized that denial wasn't working, and the more it hurt. Now he didn't doubt that he would be alone forever, as far as romantic love went.

It didn't help that when he got close enough to Ichiban, he could see Leorio sitting by the window, as he'd promised, holding a menu and speaking to the waiter. Clad in one of his usual three-piece suits and sitting in such an atmosphere, Leorio looked... looked like a man waiting for his girlfriend to join him at a table for two.

"I'm being an idiot," Kurapika murmured to himself, drawing back a little as other pedestrians brushed by him. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he should have been glad -- still glad -- for the pieces of Leorio that he *did* have. He was, after all, Leorio's best friend.

So he entered Ichiban, swinging the heavy door open with one arm. A waiter greeted him before the door shut, and Kurapika fended him off. No, he didn't need to be seated; yes, he completed the party of two; by the window, yes, thank you.

"Hi," he said, sliding into the seat almost as if it were a booth in a much less exquisite establishment.

Leorio had been taking that first glorious sip of freshly poured wine, his head tipped back and eyes closed. Kurapika's greeting effectively startled him, and he began to choke.

The sight was enough for Kurapika to nearly forget his inner troubles. Equally overcome with both concern and amusement, he watched as Leorio quickly calmed down and took another drink to soothe his throat.

"Are you okay?"

"Couldn't resist, could you?" Leorio croaked once he was capable of speech. "We've only just reunited and you're already trying to kill me."

"You shouldn't let your guard down," Kurapika rebuked him.

"Haven't had need of my guard in a long time," Leorio retorted. "I haven't been doing anything violent or dangerous, like bodyguarding."

Kurapika raised a hand, acknowledging the hit. "Fair enough."

"But attempted murder or no, it's good to see you."

The warm smile that accompanied those words reminded Kurapika why he'd eventually fallen so hard for Leorio in the first place. His heart sank to his feet. "Good to see you, too," he managed.

"I ordered the wine," Leorio gestured to the bottle on the table, "since I figured we'd be here for a little while."

Kurapika glanced at the bottle, noted the brand, and blinked. "That's not cheap. Leorio, you shouldn't--"

"I wanted to." That smile again, but it faded quickly to a more mischievous one. "My plan, you see, is to get you drunk so you offer to pay for the meal."

"I'm always drunk when I'm with you." As soon as he realized that those words clarified nothing and suggested everything, he hastily appended, "Your foolishness, you see. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in it." And then he called himself seven different kinds of stupid. All those months of successful silence, and he nearly blew his cover not five minutes into a conversation.  _I'm further gone than I thought._  He looked up in time to catch Leorio giving him an odd look, but it was gone almost immediately.

"Where's the love?" Leorio mock-moaned, but then he smiled. "Come on, pick something from the menu. The waiter over there is starting to wonder."

Kurapika skimmed through the menu as he poured his own glass of wine. He wasn't sure drinking it would be a good idea, though. The wine might loosen his tongue. "If I'm paying, you'd better pick something cheap."

"Don't worry, I'm paying." When Kurapika glanced up at him in surprise, Leorio shrugged a shoulder and grinned. "What? Problem?"

Hope left a mild pang of hurt in its wake, but somehow Kurapika was able to push the it away and logically remind himself that Leorio was treating a friend. Friends did things like that for each other; it meant nothing romantic.

The waiter came, they placed their orders, and then Kurapika asked, "So? What have you been up to?"

So began the conversation. Trials, hardships, exams, memories... they talked of it all. They had each heard from Gon and Killua more than once, and so they shared that information, too. Again, Kurapika forgot that he was sharing a meal with someone he could never *have*; they were just two friends catching up. The talking went on and on for the duration of their wine, their meal, and most of their dessert. Kurapika hadn't been so happy in a long time, until Leorio took a deep breath and said the words Kurapika had never, ever wanted to hear.

"And then I met Kira."

It was like being punched in the stomach, only more painful because he hadn't seen it coming and thus hadn't been braced for it. He focused on and stirred his melting ice cream when he replied. "Oh... you've met someone?" He tried to sound happy, he really did, but it ended up sounding more wistful.

"Yeah." Leorio, damn him, sounded cheerful and proud. "She'd been 'chasing' me for quite some time. You know, appearing outside the door after my classes, just happening to be going the same way I was... that sort of thing. I didn't know she was *interested* until she outright asked me to dinner."

He didn't want to ask, didn't want to know, but he was a friend, and that's what friends did. "Did you... have fun?"

Leorio nodded, grinning all the while. "Oh, absolutely. A charming young woman, full of energy, and *very* smart. I remember seeing her around in other classes earlier in the year, but never got to know her. I'm glad I did, though. Very glad."

It was akin to Leorio rubbing salt in Kurapika's open wound. He took a deep breath, but the pain didn't lessen. "I'm happy for you," he ventured. This, then, was why Leorio had asked to see him today. This was why he was in such a good mood and insisted on paying for dinner. Leorio had met a woman, one he obviously cared for very deeply, and he was going to ask Kurapika to attend their wedding.

"I'm happy for me, too." Leorio tapped his spoon against the side of his ice cream dish. "You see, Kira helped me understand something very important about myself."

"Did she?" Kurapika wanted badly for this afternoon to be over. The meal had started so well and had taken such a dive only minutes ago.

"Mm. She was very striking, I'll have you know. I know it sounds narcissistic, but her looks are what attracted me, at first." Kurapika wished Leorio would just shut up, but his friend continued. "She has this short blond hair, pretty green eyes, slight frame... you know, very good-looking."

"Ah." Kurapika's voice was soft, even to his own ears. His ice cream was soupy now; he kept stirring it.

"And she was brilliant. Very bright student. I went out with her a few times, and by the fourth date, we were doing a little more than kissing."

Kurapika wanted to groan, cover his ears, or maybe just leave. He did none of those things, mostly because of the way Leorio was suddenly leaning forward over the table.

"I didn't like it," his friend revealed. "It wasn't *bad*, but I didn't like it. I didn't like the way her, uh, you know, were pressing against my chest. And then I understood. You know, what I found so attractive about her."

Leorio paused, and Kurapika knew immediately what his friend wanted to hear. He hesitated, but had to admit that he was now genuinely curious, since Leorio had claimed that he hadn't liked being with her. "...What?"

Now Leorio looked as though he was fighting nervousness, but his voice was steady and determined when he answered, "She reminded me of you."

Kurapika, truly stunned, stopped stirring his ice cream and blinked several times before adding another "What?"

Obviously gauging Kurapika's reactions, Leorio clarified. "I was attracted to Kira because she reminded me of you. Her personality, her intelligence -- hell, even her *looks* reminded me of you." He rubbed the back of his head, looking a mite embarrassed. "I guess, sometimes, I was pretending that she *was* you. And believe me," this added with some forced, nervous laughter, "that wasn't easy once she was pushing her you-know-whats against me."

"What--" Kurapika stopped to swallow; the world was spinning and it had nothing to do with the wine. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm *saying*..." Leorio clasped his hands together on the tabletop, clenching them tightly together, "I'm saying that I... that I didn't want Kira. I wanted you."

"You... broke up with her?" That wasn't his most immediate concern, but he couldn't process what the other words meant.

"We broke it off," Leorio assured him. "We're on friendly terms, though. Just not together. I didn't want her; I wanted you. I still want you." He paused, and then that nervous laughter returned. "Damn, that sounds so... scripted."

"You..." Kurapika shook his head. "You're gay?" The very notion seemed laughable. Leorio? Not liking women? Impossible.

"Gay? Oh, I don't know." Leorio shook his own head. "But I... haven't felt *this way* about anyone else before, and the dreams I've had since I came to grips with that would make you blush."

"But you -- you just..." It just wasn't computing. He wanted it to be true, he did, but the memory of Leorio melting at the chance to touch a woman's breast during the Hunter exam was still very clear in his mind.

"It didn't happen overnight," Leorio explained. "I think I was in denial for a long time. I've always liked girls before, so I think I buried my attraction towards you for a long while. But I was slowly coming to terms with it; Kira was just the breaking point. She was that last push I needed to admit it."

It was all so sudden, so impossible, so what he *wanted* to hear. Kurapika couldn't handle any more. "Liar."

Leorio blinked. "Huh?"

"Liar," Kurapika reiterated. It couldn't really be true, could it? It had to be some sort of joke -- a cruel, cruel joke. "You're as straight as they come. You always thought you were a ladies' man." Hope was hovering, but Kurapika didn't want to disappoint himself further. "If this is supposed to be some sort of joke, it's not funny. It's not funny at all."

"Joke?" Leorio was affronted. "You think I'd joke about this?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe you're just confused. You don't know what you want."

"What? *You're* trying to tell *me* that I don't know what I want?" His voice dropped an octave to better ensure that they wouldn't be heard. "You're trying to tell me I haven't dreamt of you, haven't fantasized about you, haven't spent so much time trying to figure out how to tell you?" Leorio glared at him, apparently taking Kurapika's statement quite badly. "You're telling me that I haven't planned this confession for days?"

"I don't know, I don't know." His world had tilted madly, and everything was falling about; out of order, a jumble of confusion, and he didn't know where to *begin* sorting it all out. "I just know that this, *this*," he made a "you and me" gesture, "can't be true."

"You think I'm lying." Belated disbelief. "You honestly have the nerve to think I'm lying about loving you."

"You're confused," Kurapika insisted, knowing he was babbling and unable to stop it. "That must be it. You can't be attracted to men and you can't love me because I've loved you for a long time and would have noticed. I would have *noticed*; I was *looking*."

Leorio looked like he was going to spring out of his chair, his gaze full of thunderclouds. But he kept himself in check, even if the anger behind his eyes nearly made Kurapika cringe.

"Not here," he growled. "We won't do this here." He gestured rudely for the waiter and all but demanded their bill. "We're going to talk," he added, in a voice that dared Kurapika to argue with him. Kurapika didn't.

When the check came, Leorio paid and left a generous tip. "Back to my room," he said, and started for the door.

Kurapika had little choice but to follow.

 

***

Leorio's hotel wasn't far from Ichiban, and they walked the whole way. Well, "walked" wasn't quite the word to use; Leorio's walk was an angry, purposeful stride. Kurapika had to take two steps for each of Leorio's since his legs were shorter, and even then he could barely keep up without running. He stared at Leorio's back for most of the journey, and could tell from the other's stiff posture that once they were behind closed doors, he would become the focus of that anger.

As soon as they were inside Leorio's extravagant room for one, Kurapika turned around to close the door. With his back to Leorio, he tried to calm down and think things through. Leorio's confession was playing over and over in his mind, and he just....

"She was beautiful, you know," Leorio said suddenly. Kurapika didn't turn to face him, but angled his head a little to show that he was listening. "Kira, I mean. Beautiful. Trust me, if I *did* really want her, and not you, I would have gone for it. Her only fault, to me, was that she wasn't you -- and you were the one I really wanted."

"I wish you'd stop saying that," Kurapika moaned faintly.

"I told her, too. I told her that she was amazing, but that I was in love with another man." A pause, and Kurapika knew that Leorio was grinning. "I even told her that she reminded me of you in nearly every way. Then she quipped, 'you mean we even look alike?' and I said yes and then she laughed, 'that's an insult to one of us.' And then she wished me the best of luck."

"Are you sure you're not just mistaking a close friendship?" It seemed terribly odd, this... discouraging his desires after all those dreams, fantasies, and the heartache. Leorio had come to him, claiming to love him, want him, and Kurapika was trying to push him away. He wanted to laugh, but knew it would just sound hysterical.

"What do you mean?" Leorio asked, his voice serious again.

"We... we've been through a lot together. The Hunter exam, everything before and after that, and we're close. *Very* close." Kurapika bit one side of his tongue as he considered how he should explain the rest. "Maybe you... maybe you just found in me what you're looking for in a woman."

"Don't talk to me like I'm some lovesick teenager who hasn't a clue what love *is*," Leorio snapped. "I'm a grown man, in case you haven't noticed, and I'm definitely old enough to understand what I feel. Now, if this whole thing is just to help cover up your homophobia, then spare me the antics and just say you're homophobic. I'll get the hint and bow out gracefully."

"Homophobic? *Me*?" Kurapika turned around at that point, knowing his expression was one of bafflement. He was shocked and even a little offended. Kurapika didn't care *what* anybody slept with; it was none of his business. As for love, well, love was just *love*. He said as much, and then confessed, "I've been in love with you since after Kukulu."

Leorio stared at him for a long time. The calm, knowing gaze unnerved him, so Kurapika turned to face the door again. "That's not news to me, you know," Leorio said to his back. "I knew that you wanted me. You let it slip at the restaurant. In more ways than one, I might add.

"I want to know what you're putting up such a fight about. We're both old enough to know what we want. We love each other, want each other... and now we're finally alone. What's stopping us?"

"You're not gay," Kurapika protested, still staring at the closed door.

"Not straight, either."

"Yes, you are. You chased after girls on your spare time. How could you possibly just... decide you wanted me one day? Just like that? You might say you love me, and maybe you do, but not the way I -- not that way. *That* kind of love is... it includes physical attraction." By that point, he wasn't sure why he was arguing anymore. He was just so overwhelmed.

"I swear, sometimes you are so insufferably *stupid*," Leorio growled. "I don't know if I want to kiss you or punch you."

Kurapika spun back around, but whatever he was going to say died in his throat. Leorio was coming closer and closer, nearly upon him.

"So let me get this *straight*," Leorio spoke as he advanced, backing Kurapika against the door, "after I spend *weeks* trying to sort myself out, gather the nerve to come out to you, and try to piece together what to even *say* to you... you're trying to tell *me* that I don't like boys -- that I don't like *you*?"

It was hard to stand up to someone when that someone was taller than you, but Kurapika usually didn't have any trouble with that. At the moment, however, he was trapped against the door, and this revelation was just too much, his dreams were becoming reality and things like that only happened in awful romance novels. He tried to shrink away, but the hard barrier behind him prevented it.

"Yes," he managed in a tight voice. "Because you're not attracted to me." He barely suppressed a wince at the older man's angry/befuddled expression.

"Are you even *thinking* before you open your mouth?" Leorio demanded.

"No," Kurapika admitted, not really knowing *what* was going on, or going to happen anymore.

"Then, damn it, shut *up*."

Kurapika did the exact opposite -- or tried to. He opened his mouth and suddenly found it full of Leorio's tongue. Trying to speak only moved his own against the invader, and Leorio moved even closer, crushing him against the door.

He'd never been kissed before. Well, he'd been kissed, but not *kissed*. He'd never had someone corner him, seize him, trap him between a solid surface and solid body and *kiss* him, with intent and purpose and *certainty*. He'd never been kissed this way, hard and frantic, Leorio racing against time, trying to get as much as he could before Kurapika came to his senses and shoved him aside.

He didn't think he'd be *able* to push Leorio away; the other's hold on him was tight and secure, torso and hips keeping him firmly in place, hands threaded through his hair and lips effectively halting any attempt at speech. When it came to raw physical strength, Leorio very much had the upper hand, and Kurapika would never use Nen against his friends -- especially not over a kiss. A kiss that... he wasn't so sure he *wanted* to stop, anyway.

Fresh air, it seemed, was a thing of the past; they had no need of it. Their kissing dragged on for long moments, minutes, and the longer it went on, the less inclined Kurapika felt to shove the older man away. His hands had long ago encircled Leorio's wrists -- at first to fight back, now just to hold -- and his tongue had abandoned speech in favor of swirling against Leorio's. Kurapika could feel warm wetness getting all over his lips and their general vicinity, even running down to his chin.

Funny, he never thought he'd *like* being drooled on.

When Leorio broke the lip-lock at last, they both gulped a huge breath of oxygen. Kurapika felt winded, like he'd been running for so long and was only now slowing down, and he only noticed Leorio's forehead thumping gently against his own when he started to feel the other's warm pants.

"So?" the taller boy breathed, unmoving.

Kurapika had to swallow more than once before he managed, "You've made your point."

Leorio laughed, breath puffing over Kurapika's face, "Good," and then he was back, and Kurapika thought the gods would strike him down then and there, because life could not *possibly* get any better.

This kiss was similar, but not identical to their last, which had been their first. It was a trifle slower, just as hungry, and *deeper*. Kurapika wasn't sure how you were supposed to gauge the intimacy of a kiss; it was, in the end, just sticking your tongue in someone else's mouth. But for this embrace their bodies had shifted, fitting together more comfortably, and it almost felt like Leorio's kiss was pulling at his soul. Terribly poetic, but true.

It was when he touched Leorio's freshly-shaven face that the other man pulled away again, breathing heavily. The arms around Kurapika tightened, and Leorio looked uncertain when he gazed down.

"What?" Kurapika made himself ask, concerned and, maybe, a little worried. Was Leorio having second thoughts about this?

Leorio answered with great difficulty. "I won't be able to stop, you know." The hand resting at the base of Kurapika's neck was trembling a little. "If we -- I mean, if we keep... I won't be able to stop."

Ah. No second thoughts at all. "I didn't say I wanted to stop." Courage renewed, he tilted himself up on his toes so he could lick some of the saliva -- some his, some Leorio's -- from the taller man's chin. The action just left *more* saliva, but his intent hadn't really been to clean, even though *he* only realized that after the fact.

Leorio's eyelids lowered as Kurapika pulled away, but he persisted. "No, I mean, I won't be able to stop with just *kissing*. I'll -- I'll want --"

Kurapika recalled the dream he'd had that morning. Thinking about it made his eyes close, a small smile tugging at his mouth. Only hours ago he'd been certain that this would never happen, while Leorio had been taking pains to assure that it *would*.

"--ould you let me do that?"

Kurapika blinked, having missed the beginning of the question but being able to determine what it had been. Among the Kuruta, pre-marital relations weren't frowned upon, per se, but it was preferable for both parties involved to have been courting for some time.

But he was not among the Kuruta, would never be amongst them again, and had done his best to uphold many of the tribal customs. He decided that his companions would perhaps exempt him from this one in particular. Besides which, he didn't *want* to uphold this one; it seemed terribly insignificant compared to everything else he had done.

"Anything you want," he replied at last, his voice little more than a murmur. But the volume didn't matter, so long as it could be heard, and heard it was.

He was seized and held fast against the taller man's body, Leorio all firm arms, broad chest, and hungry lips. Kurapika kissed back enthusiastically, finding that once you did it a couple of times, the movements came naturally and their bodies fit together perfectly.

After a few long minutes, Kurapika's neck began to ache. He hadn't grown much in terms of height, so he was craning his neck in addition to keeping his head tipped to one side. Not even Leorio's seemingly expert tongue could keep the burgeoning kink from his mind forever, so he broke away for a moment, needing to move.

Undeterred and unappeased, Leorio descended upon his neck, lips hot against the column of skin. Kurapika bit his bottom lip to stifle a quiet moan, and would have shied away from the tongue dipping into his ear were it not for Leorio's hand tangling in the hair at his nape and holding him in place. The sensations made him shiver; Leorio's warm breath accompanied his tongue as it ran along every ridge of his ear. Leorio's free hand, long-forgotten at the small of his back, suddenly moved up to begin playing with the hidden buttons along the center of his mantle.

"Leorio..." He wasn't sure what he was going to say, if anything at all. He just had to speak his partner's name.

"Love it when you say that," Leorio murmured back, mouth finding Kurapika's again and doing anything *but* stilling his tongue. He fussed with the buttons of Kurapika's tabard for a few moments more and finally growled audibly. "Hell with this," he muttered against Kurapika's lips, and then used both hands to pull the mantle apart, popping all three fasteners off.

"I hope you know how to sew," Kurapika muttered back, but didn't press the issue because Leorio's hold renewed and for the first time since the initial assault, they were moving away from the door.

The trip from the door to the bed seemed to take an eternity, and was hindered by their almost desperate kissing, groping, and struggling with clothing. Kurapika didn't really remember tugging at Leorio's clothes, but the blazer was discarded and the taller man's dress shirt was swiftly unbuttoned soon thereafter. He even managed to do away with one or two buttons.

"Can *you* sew?" Leorio panted as he shrugged out of the shirt, unwilling to let a chance for retaliation slip by, even occupied as they were.

"Yes," Kurapika quipped, but it was muffled because Leorio had shoved him away to deal with his more complicated clothing, yanking his shirt over his head. Before he had a chance to open his eyes again, Leorio thumbed his nipples. "Oh--!"

"Bed," Leorio muttered, pushing him backwards again. They reached it in seconds, and Kurapika willingly threw himself down to the mattress, pulling Leorio atop him.

He didn't think any fantasy, no matter how wild, would ever compare to the feeling of Leorio's body actually resting along the length of his own. Their chests, bare and warm, pressed together for a long minute as they laid still, Leorio's face hidden against Kurapika's neck, just *touching*. That lasted until Leorio gave the side of his neck a lazy open-mouthed kiss and Kurapika murmured something appreciative. Then the spell was broken and Leorio took the lead, kissing a trail of fire that began at Kurapika's jugular and ended at his lips.

This time they kissed and fumbled with pants at the same time. It became obvious seconds later that neither of them had ever attempted this before. Their hands were hesitant and a little clumsy, their hips too busy moving, seeking some sort of friction, and thus hindering the process further. Finally, Leorio pulled away and sat up, knees pressing against the outside of Kurapika's thighs. He hastily and awkwardly shed his pants and the black boxers under them.

Kurapika inhaled sharply, staring down the length of Leorio's body. His lover was naked and aroused and *perfect*. He wondered if he was in a bad romance novel, after all. But no, he decided a moment later, Leorio felt very, very real. Sounded real, too, when Kurapika's hands explored every inch of skin they could reach.

Leorio bent over him on all fours, nudged at his mouth and initiated another kiss, and oh, it was wonderful -- but a little frustrating because now they weren't touching anywhere *else* and Kurapika's subtle motions for "closer" were going unheeded. Or went unheeded, until Kurapika tugged with a little more force than he normally would have used, and Leorio, occupied with Kurapika's ear and caught unawares, lost his balance and tumbled, narrowly missing Kurapika's face with his own.

"Oof," came the breathless gasp, half-muffled by the pillow.

"Sorry," Kurapika offered, setting his warm palms on the warmer skin of Leorio's back. Now they were touching everywhere, though, so he really wasn't that sorry at all. Experimentally, he rolled his hips up, brushing his clothed erection with Leorio's naked one.

Leorio tensed. "Don't do that," he growled.

"What, this?" Kurapika pointedly did it again.

"*Yes*, that, you--" he broke off when Kurapika did it a third time, and then sprang back up, sitting astride Kurapika's thighs and bringing his hands to fuss with the only pair of pants left between them. Kurapika eagerly helped kick them off, and his underwear swiftly followed.

There were no more words. Anything they wanted to convey was easily done so by looking or touching. When Leorio lowered himself again, their world narrowed down to just the two of them, and both discovered just how easy it was to throw reason to the wind. It was no wonder that so many people sacrificed things just for sex; missing errands, canceling plans, being late for work.... Why resist something that felt so good?

They rolled around the bed, exchanging kisses and touches and "yeses" and "pleases." Eventually, somehow, they ended up back in their original position: Kurapika on his back with Leorio atop him. This time, it was Leorio who began the erotic humping motions, and a rhythm was easily found and kept, however frantic it became.

And then everything got much hotter, and wet, and a little messy. But Kurapika didn't notice, and even when he tumbled down into post-orgasmic bliss, he found that those things didn't bother him in the slightest. Both his body and his mind were unbelievably content; he didn't think *anything* could bother him right now.

For a long time, they laid still. Their breathing evened out, their bodies relaxed further, and Leorio mumbled three words that made Kurapika smile, albeit lazily. Finally, Leorio rolled off him and settled onto his back. Feeling bereft without Leorio's warmth, Kurapika shifted so that he could lie against the older man's chest. Almost immediately, Leorio started stroking his hair.

"That was--" Leorio's voice was hoarse, so he cleared his throat and swallowed, "that was... oh, I can't even...."

Kurapika said the first thing that came to mind. "Senritsu will have a field day with this." He was surprised he sounded so calm, considering that most of his brain was occupied with a single thought,  _IhadsexwithLeorioIhadsexwithLeorio_  running around and around his head. "And to think, I was supposed to be trying my best to just keep being your friend."

Leorio laughed. "Even the best laid plans go awry," he consoled. "You said you had three days off?"

"Mm-hmm." He was already imagining what the rest of that long weekend would bring him.

"Good. We have a lot of catching up to do."

Even if they hadn't spent the afternoon at a restaurant doing just that, Kurapika would have known that Leorio did not mean *talking*. "Can't wait."

 

 

+end+

 

 


End file.
